Wheel of Fish

Environmentalism is an affront to the glorious consumerist cause. Some call it the purest and most insidious form of communism. Beginning next year, our Collective Mandate™ penalty scheme will require all prepared foods to contain no less than 15% “endangered” caloric material. This will both crush the spirit of the dissenters and increase margins for the entrepreneurs and the state. In the meantime, tax incentives will be given to forward-thinking food preparers who meet or exceed this 15% threshold.