The Direction of Triumph

In recognition of the obvious truth that a business must never be allowed to fail, our divine leadership has undertaken the task of revitalizing the branding mechanism for various companies that would have otherwise collapsed under the previous socialist tyranny.

For instance, although electronic GPS navigation units are readily available and quite “affordable” to even those with few credit cards, the national consumerhood will be incentivized to continue doing business with paper map manufacturers. A revised logo and sponsored news campaign will encourage consumers to purchase as many of these maps as they can afford without harming their ability to support other enterprises.

The monthly census will establish map purchasing patterns, and those who have not consumed sufficient quantities of maps will be assessed a tax penalty. Furthermore, a “three strikes” law will jail those who consistently fail to do their patriotic duty and buy maps.